15 Rules of Flying Etiquette.
If you fly as often as I do then you will know exactly what I am talking about. This is all out of personal experience and happens to me in just about every flight. In fact I’m typing this in a plane do to some inspiring people in here. This is all common sense but some people lack that and they lack that in numbers.
I will start form the beginning of the flight and end at the baggage claim. Safe travels everyone. Read on.
1.When you enter the plane and have a massive back pack on, (for some reason you need your entire bedroom for a weekend trip in your back pack) do not turn on the aisle, every time you do that you hit someone in the face (someone sitting in an aisle seat) with your 60 pound bag, if you need to put your other 100 pond carry on on top take, your back pack off first, place it on your seat then continue to put your 2nd home on the compartment above your seat.
2. That brings me to #2. I know you are the only person in the planet that matters, but unfortunately for you we all paid to be in this plane and we all have the right to store our bags, so place the carry on bags wheels first on the overhead compartment to make more room for everyone else’s bag, don’t be an asshole and take a whole compartment by your self then close it. WTF is that? Douchebag
3. If you are that jerk off that puts your knees on the seat in front of you, be happy you haven’t done this to me, I will get up and embarrass you in front of the entire plane. I mean come on, every time you move the guy in front of you can feel it, yes even if you are extra careful, how old are you 6 that you cant keep your body parts to your self? This goes for the the ones that use my arm rests as foot rests, don’t put your feet near me.
4. If you are one of this people that takes your shoes off, remember this, nobody wants to smell your stinky feet, I know I know its a long flight and you want to be comfortable, guess what asshole, buy a private jet. Besides do you know how filthy this plane carpets are? Do you know what happens in a guys bathroom in front of a urinal? Yes its full of piss and guys step on it and guess what its all over that carpet. Keep your shoes on!
5. Ahh the food trey, remember that the food trey is attached to the seat in front of you, that being said, be courteous when you open it and close it. Don’t be a jerk and slam it open or close, the guy in front can feel it and its not pleasant.
6. This brings me to #6 if you have to go to the bathroom and often, there is nothing wrong with that (Im one of this guys) but please don’t grab my seat to get up and jerk it back , unless you are a 70 plus year old man or woman, you are full capable of getting up without disrupting everyone around you.
7. The aisle asshole. Yes I said it, if you like to walk back and forth in the aisle there is no reason for you to touch anyones seat, just walk, and don’t bother people by graving their seats using them as hand rails, some people are sleeping and some are working the last thing they need is a thump on their head just because some asshole cant sit still. There is no reason for you to touch anyones seat while standing unless there is horrible turbulence, in wish case you should not be walking around to begin with.
8. The pig, I know I know you only get a drink and a napkin, why can you get more? I have news for you, you can in first class, that being said it shouldn’t be hard for you to keep track of your napkin right? So why does it always end up on the floor? Is this how you are at home? You just throw shit on the floor? The flight attendants often walk up and down the aisle with trash bags, put your trash in there. Don’t leave it on the floor or stuff it on the back of the seat. Have some manners, if you want to be a pig buy a private jet and destroy that.
9. Hey asshole I have news for you, nobody cares what you are listening to, watching, playing or looking at on your cellphone, iPad or laptop, so mute it or put some headphones on. Douchebag.
10.You might not like this one but it has to be said, if you are massive and over weight, thats ok, nobody is judging you but you need to buy 2 seats, why should I get squished and be uncomfortable just because you don’t fit in a normal seat? Its not fair to me and its not fair to you. You take up a seat an a half and unfortunately I get screwed with half a seat, and I paid full price??? Shouldn’t you pay for half my seat??? Think about it.
11. The parents, most parents are really good and kids are kids I get that but I did have a terrible experience once and I have to mention it. Do not change your kids dippers next to me, its extremely rude not only to me but everyone else. You think we like to smell baby shit? If you haven’t noticed the bathrooms are equipped with some incredible tables you can put down and clean your kid on. USE THEM!
12. The seat swapper, are you this guy? guess what if you ask me to swap seats Im gonna tell you to f-off, its a 2 hr flight and you can handle it. Unless you are offering a better seat I’m not giving up mine so you can sit next to your wife (or husband) for 2 hrs and I can sit in the middle of a 2 massive people, besides you need a break from her (or him) wasn’t this vacation long enough? Plan better next time.
13. The cougher, cover your mouth!!!
14. When the plane lands and the seatbelt light goes off, stay put, it exits by rows, you will eventually leave. Don’t be the asshole that tries to run down the aisle to get off first. A. you look like a complete asshole and B. You will only get 2 people ahead. If you want to get off first, buy a first class ticket or a private jet. Jerk!
15. You made it, well almost, if you need to get your bag at the carousel, don’t push people out of the way, or don’t pull carts up to the carrousel, we all want our bags and we are all going to get them, be polite about it. If someone needs to get front of you because their bags are coming, let them in.
Sometimes I wonder wtf is wrong with people, this is nothing but common sense and common curtesy, I’m convinced that if we all had a little bit more common courtesy this world would be a better place. Be kind and respectful to each other, traveling is hard enough as it is don’t make it harder on yourself and other people. We are all adults.
Did I miss any? Leave me a comment below as I would love to hear your thoughts.