15 Rules of Flying Etiquette

15 Rules of Flying Etiquette.

If you fly as often as I do then you will know exactly what I am talking about. This is all out of personal experience and happens to me in just about every flight. In fact I’m typing this in a plane do to some inspiring people in here. This is all common sense but some people lack that and they lack that in numbers.

I will start form the beginning of the flight and end at the baggage claim. Safe travels everyone. Read on.


1.When you enter the plane and have a massive back pack on, (for some reason you need your entire bedroom for a weekend trip in your back pack) do not turn on the aisle, every time you do that you hit someone in the face (someone sitting in an aisle seat) with your 60 pound bag, if you need to put your other 100 pond carry on on top take, your back pack off first, place it on your seat then continue to put your 2nd home on the compartment above your seat.

2. That brings me to #2. I know you are the only person in the planet that matters, but unfortunately for you we all paid to be in this plane and we all have the right to store our bags, so place the carry on bags wheels first on the overhead compartment to make more room for everyone else’s bag, don’t be an asshole and take a whole compartment by your self then close it. WTF is that? Douchebag

3. If you are that jerk off that puts your knees on the seat in front of you, be happy you haven’t done this to me, I will get up and embarrass you in front of the entire plane. I mean come on, every time you move the guy in front of you can feel it, yes even if you are extra careful, how old are you 6 that you cant keep your body parts to your self? This goes for the the ones that use my arm rests as foot rests, don’t put your feet near me.

4. If you are one of this people that takes your shoes off, remember this, nobody wants to smell your stinky feet, I know I know its a long flight and you want to be comfortable, guess what asshole, buy a private jet. Besides do you know how filthy this plane carpets are? Do you know what happens in a guys bathroom in front of a urinal? Yes its full of piss and guys step on it and guess what its all over that carpet. Keep your shoes on!

5. Ahh the food trey, remember that the food trey is attached to the seat in front of you, that being said, be courteous when you open it and close it. Don’t be a jerk and slam it open or close, the guy in front can feel it and its not pleasant.

6. This brings me to #6 if you have to go to the bathroom and often, there is nothing wrong with that (Im one of this guys) but please don’t grab my seat to get up and jerk it back , unless you are a 70 plus year old man or woman, you are full capable of getting up without disrupting everyone around you.

7. The aisle asshole. Yes I said it, if you like to walk back and forth in the aisle there is no reason for you to touch anyones seat, just walk, and don’t bother people by graving their seats using them as hand rails, some people are sleeping and some are working the last thing they need is a thump on their head just because some asshole cant sit still. There is no reason for you to touch anyones seat while standing unless there is horrible turbulence, in wish case you should not be walking around to begin with.


8. The pig, I know I know you only get a drink and a napkin, why can you get more? I have news for you, you can in first class, that being said it shouldn’t be hard for you to keep track of your napkin right? So why does it always end up on the floor? Is this how you are at home? You just throw shit on the floor? The flight attendants often walk up and down the aisle with trash bags, put your trash in there. Don’t leave it on the floor or stuff it on the back of the seat. Have some manners, if you want to be a pig buy a private jet and destroy that.

9. Hey asshole I have news for you, nobody cares what you are listening to, watching, playing or looking at on your cellphone, iPad or laptop, so mute it or put some headphones on. Douchebag.

10.You might not like this one but it has to be said, if you are massive and over weight, thats ok, nobody is judging you but you need to buy 2 seats, why should I get squished and be uncomfortable just because you don’t fit in a normal seat? Its not fair to me and its not fair to you. You take up a seat an a half and unfortunately I get screwed with half a seat, and I paid full price??? Shouldn’t you pay for half my seat??? Think about it.

11. The parents, most parents are really good and kids are kids I get that but I did have a terrible experience once and I have to mention it. Do not change your kids dippers next to me, its extremely rude not only to me but everyone else. You think we like to smell baby shit? If you haven’t noticed the bathrooms are equipped with some incredible tables you can put down and clean your kid on. USE THEM!

12. The seat swapper, are you this guy? guess what if you ask me to swap seats Im gonna tell you to f-off, its a 2 hr flight and you can handle it. Unless you are offering a better seat I’m not giving up mine so you can sit next to your wife (or husband) for 2 hrs and I can sit in the middle of a 2 massive people, besides you need a break from her (or him) wasn’t this vacation long enough? Plan better next time.

13. The cougher, cover your mouth!!!

14. When the plane lands and the seatbelt light goes off, stay put, it exits by rows, you will eventually leave. Don’t be the asshole that tries to run down the aisle to get off first. A. you look like a complete asshole and B. You will only get 2 people ahead. If you want to get off first, buy a first class ticket or a private jet. Jerk!

15. You made it, well almost, if you need to get your bag at the carousel, don’t push people out of the way, or don’t pull carts up to the carrousel, we all want our bags and we are all going to get them, be polite about it. If someone needs to get front of you because their bags are coming, let them in.

Sometimes I wonder wtf is wrong with people, this is nothing but common sense and common curtesy, I’m convinced that if we all had a little bit more common courtesy this world would be a better place. Be kind and respectful to each other, traveling is hard enough as it is don’t make it harder on yourself and other people. We are all adults.

Did I miss any? Leave me a comment below as I would love to hear your thoughts.

  • Laney says:

    I really liked this post it’s something frequent flyers always have to deal with. I do think you missed these two tho.

    Just because the seat goes back doesn’t mean you can/should as the poor person behind you now has the back of your seat in their face, you wouldn’t like being crushed up into an even smaller space than you already are. If you do I’m going to break rule 3 & piss you off for the whole flight you self involved twat.
    An if you put the seat back while the other person behind is eating or have a drink resting on it I’m kicking your seat through the whole flight because your being a wanker by putting your seat back to start with.

  • Don’t bring your pets. They are not people and some real people are allergic to fluffy.

    • Edin Chavez says:

      This one is interesting, that would be terrible to be sneezing the entire time your on a plane do to an allergy, then you are disrupting the people next to you as well.

  • I love your article Edin! Is so true!!! I think you mentioned everything I have lived on a plane. Love it!!!!!

  • jax says:

    One of the best reads I’ve had in awhile, and a good laugh ;)

  • Hmm good observations, one wonders how stupidity is a common trait around the world… here are mine. observations… ..http://desitraveler.com/a-flight-to-remember/

  • I too am a very frequent traveler and maintain status with several airlines. Yes I may have become a jaded traveler. Here are a few things that really annoy me:

    1. When they are boarding the ‘Elite’ travelers and you are in Boarding Group 4 please do not try to board early or clog up the lines.

    2. Put your roll aboard or bag above your row! Don’t get on the plane and dump your bag(s) above row 9 and make your way back to row 24.

    3. It’s travel day! Please shower. Oh, and NO – dousing yourself with cologne isn’t the same thing..

    4. If your plan is to play on your phone, iPad, computer or other device please have it ready or easily accessible. Nothing worse than people rooting around in bags and rummaging through their crap trying to fine something. Be. Prepared.

    5. I am not aware of any US based carrier who serves Mr. Pibb so please stop asking for it!!!

    OK I’m done… great stuff Edin!

  • Bob says:

    LoL. Just. LoL.

  • Ramesh K. Zutshi says:

    I have noticed, it is the young jerks, who push the seats back in the beginning, even when others are filing in. While boarding, some jerks come so close as to fit their crotch in your bums. Blithering Homo erectilus.

  • Nico says:

    I also am a frequent flyer.

    I always try to get the window seat at the back of the plane. Why? I go to the toilet BEFORE I board, so I can stay in my seat the whole flight, and don’t have to get up and ask everyone to stand up to let me pass.
    How come anyway that even before the plane takes off, people are already going to the toilet …

    Also when I am at the backseat, I don’t disturb anyone when I put my seat back. If I cannot get that back row seat, my seat will stay in upright position all flight.

    When I’m flying in duo, we usually book aisle and window seat (near the back rows), as most people don’t book the middle seat when there is space left. This way, you always have some more room, and in need, you always can swap seats with the person in the middle. 99.9% will except that, as they will have a better seat.

    So for people who see me sitting at the window on the back row, please let me enjoy my music and let me sleep in piece. I have my headset on, and the music is not too loud (hell, I often can follow your conversation over my music)